10 Ways to Make Your Lover Feel Sexy
Whether you're involved with a new lover, or a long-time paramour with whom you want to keep the flame burning high, making your lover feel sexy is a great way to keep your relationship strong and your libidos revved up. Couples who have been together a long time often find themselves in a rut. Based on the theory of Emotionally Focused Therapy, finding a way to come back to one another can strengthen a relationship and bring couples back to a happily married or committed state. If this sounds like you, try some of these tips to let your lover know how sexy he or she really is:
1. Look at Their Body
When was the last time you gave the naked body of your lover a good, long, appreciative look? Next time they are in the shower, take time to stop, look and appreciate. Tell them all about their best features while you are looking at them. The longer you look, the sexier they will feel.
2. Put Away the Phone
If you are always on your smart phone, your partner probably feels like a less attractive item than your technology. When you are together, put it away. Don't take calls, don't take texts and most importantly, don't take your eyes off of them. Make it about you two and let the rest of the world fall away.
3. Switch it Up
Whether you go on vacation or just seduce them in a different room of the house, switching locations can tap into some heat that hasn't had a chance to come out in a long time. Trying a different time of day or night, like the middle of the day on a weekend, is also a great way to do this.
4. Share your Fantasies
Nothing gets someone feeling sexier than knowing that they are the center of your fantasies. The more you get into them, the hotter they will feel. This can become a fun thing if you are apart on a business trip or away for the weekend and you can describe scenarios of what you would like to do to them when you are together again.
5. Leave Notes
If you love how sexy your partner is, don't just tell them. Leave notes for them to find in briefcases, purses, or on bathroom mirrors. These can vary from "I love your eyes" to "It makes me so hot when you..." Finding little surprises that underline how much you think of your love can be a simple way to show appreciation and gratitude.
6. Wear Something Hot for Them
If you wear something you wouldn't usually wear, this can be a great way to show how you feel about them. This means even more if it is something just for them, rather than to show off your body to the public. This thing may be something revealing that is just for the bedroom, something that is in a color that brings out your eyes, or something special that they bought for you as a gift of love.
7. Dream Together
Relationship expert John Gottman outlines several ways to re-establish intimacy. Dreaming together and creating shared meaning are two of the ways that this occurs. Whether this is helping you and your spouse to achieve a lifelong goal or just heading back on vacation to a place where your romance was hottest, this is a great way for both of you to feel sexier.
8. Show Respect
It is easy for everyone to understand what makes a person in their 20s and 30s sexy, as this is the ideal that everyone holds. However, the best relationships are all about feeling sexy into one's 40s, 50s, 60s, 70s and beyond. One great way to achieve this is by showing respect. This can be done in simple ways, like being polite and considerate. Appreciating your partner for the things that they do and not just how they look is another great way to show respect. Finally, speaking to them with respect even when you disagree can go a long way in helping to forge a long-term trust that translates into decades of feeling appreciated, wanted and sexy.
9. Be Spontaneous
When you were first starting your relationship, you likely couldn't keep your hands off of one another. For many couples, any excuse to spend time together could translate into intimate time. Finding reasons to begin this again, whether it means planning a surprise romantic weekend away or just playing hooky for half a day from work to be alone together can bring back positive memories and give you a great opportunity to create new ones.
10. Make it About More than Sex
For many, the sexiest sex has layers of emotion involved as well. Love, togetherness and faithfulness are just a few of the things that, when layered in, can make bedroom encounters something timeless.
